Tommy Lasorda, where are you?

As a naive kid, I put a lot of heart and soul in to my routing interest ... and needless to say I'm very much still a kid. And I remember game after game Tommy Lasorda talking about how fortunate the Dodgers where to have the Big Blue Guy in the Sky shining down on them. They won a lot of games in which the balls landed barely fair for the Dodgers and barely foul for the bad guys. Mike Socissa couldn't hit a fly ball past second base but in a Game 6 against the Mets he hit one over the centerfield wall. How!? Why!? The Dodger Eye in the Sky of course. Kirk Gibson could barely walk or swing or stand and yet that ball traveled 400 feet. How!? The Dodger Eye in the Sky of course.

Well he must not be a Dodger fan anymore. O'Malley sold him when he sold the rest of the Dodgers to Fox Corp. And I'm not sure who that guy roots for these days, but today he was wearing Ute Red and I want to puke!!

Every single bounce went their way, and not just a few of them. I can think of 8 that could have bounced anywhere and every single time it went the Utes direction. Yes, we should have still won and made some big mistakes, but where is the justice!? The first Ute TD hit the db in the arm and it could have been caught by him or bounced right to Rich for the int but instead bounced right into the arms of the Ute. A early fumble hit Rich right in the hand and went out of bounds. The punt took an abrupt right hand turn and hit the BYU guy's foot. A BYU fumble went right to the Ute defender. A call that should have been overturned wasn't because the Ref blocked the only camera the TV had on the play. I could go on but I think I need to go throw up!!!

Meet "Dan"

Cindy had parent-teacher conferences with Daniel today, and she learned something that I think the title of this blog probably already gives way. He calls himself Dan and has since the beginning of school. Everyone in his school only knows him as Dan. He is Dan.

Now I don't think this is as quite as radical as the 'Saul-on-the-Road-to-Damascus' level event that occurred the day Jimmy became James but still ...

He has never once referred to himself at home or church as Dan. So where did Dan come from?

A now it all makes sense ...

Ashton likes to come into Mommy & Daddy's bed in the middle of the night ... probably happens 4 times a week, maybe 5. But she is really a wiggle worm and does a lot of touching. Kind of thought "that's just the way she is" ... but at times she is dead to the world and doesn't move a muscle. So why does she squirm and slap us around so much?

Mystery solved. Stayed up a little later than normal last night to watch my first Laker game of the year (they had won their first 8 but lost the first time I watched ... go figure). So by the time I was climbing into bed, sweetheart Cindy was already sawing logs ... and they must have been big Redwoods dropping judging from the amps on that saw she was using on those logs. I couldn't sleep, much less hear myself think. But every time I rolled over or jostled the bed, there would be a momentary pause in the snoring. And every time I touched her, again, another peaceful moment of silent bliss. The problem is the more I bounce the bed or touch the queen, the more I put myself in the warpath of the sleeping princess. The answer? Another sweatheart who is more than willing to jostle the bed or smack the queen. So I went to her room, scooped her up, and brought her to bed to do her dirty work and take the heat should any come. Dirty trick, I know ... but really effective.

But a funny thing happened last night. As soon as Ashton was in bed, Cindy's snoring noticeably decreased a few dozen decibels. Do you think her 'mommy' instinct took over and her level of deep sleep changed knowing a sweetie was in bed with her? Just wondering.

For the record, I am not the quietest sleeper on the planet and have taken my fair share of 'sweetie' slaps in the middle of the night. But at least now I'll understand the method to her madness. But what do we do when she's 18? Get a dog?

She must go ...

First of all, I am a DWTS purist. I look pass image, looks, character, partnering, all of that trivial junk, and I judge the dance for what it is ... in it's purest form. I use my keen sense of choreography, musicality, and rhythm to artfully determine who is the best, pure dancer and who deserves to not ever violate the dance floor again. That said ...

Bristol Palin offends every single one of my dancing senses with every brutal, painful MISS-step. So how is she still on the show!?

I have long felt, nay sensed ... for all intents and purposes DISCERNED ... that there is an deep-seeded undercurrent of evil in this country who vote based on false prophetic notions of who is a "christian" and who isn't. Based on talent, there is no way in the heavens above or hell below that Adam Lambert should have ever lost to Kris Allen -- except Kris was deemed a better "christain" role model than Adam by some underground group who then blasted the voting to ensure Kris won. And the same group is behind the voting in DWTS. Giles Marrini was out-voted by Shawn Johnson. Shawn Johnson isn't fit to hold Giles' dance practice leotard when it comes to ability.

And now this travesty. The same group keeping the two left feet of Bristol alive is also voting up fellow "christian" good guy Kurt Warner. Some day the books will be opened and all this will be revealed ... you heard it here first.

If every couple we knew was in the Amazing Race ...

Blaine and Lisa would be the winner.

I admit the discussion went deep into the night on this one between me and Cindy. Sometimes this discussion was 'warm' and we probably owe every couple we know a deep, heartfelt apology for critiquing each couples relationship, physicality, and overall ability to win The Amazing Race. But in the end, Blaine's ability to sweet talk a stranger, he's will to win at all costs, and Lisa's ability to handle all of that won us over. They would win. Jim and Heather get a distant second because somewhere for some reason they would have to talk to somebody, and we just didn't see that happening.

How do I say nothing ...

I have starred at this blog and I have found nothing to say. And I really hate, no hate is too strong a word, loathe is also too strong, dislike isn't strong enough a word, so I'm not really sure what the word is for not liking something a lot but not to the point of hate ... anyways, I feel that towards long communications about nothing. I think I used to not like it more, but Ashton likes to give me long communications about nothing. I keep thinking, it's a good thing you're so cute. She's given me a lot of practice at being more patient and actively listening to long communications about nothing. She's actually trained me to actively listening because when I glaze over she grabs my two ears and brings my face right up to hers so that I give her my full undivided attention.

Dry heaving is ....

the worst 10 seconds of any day, week, month, or year.